alice-in-metamorpov/through-the-looking-glass/humpty-dumpty.typ

== Humpty Dumpty
However, the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human:
when pov/s had come within a few yards of it, pov/s saw that it had eyes
and a nose and mouth; and when pov/s had come close to it, pov/s saw
clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. “It can't be anybody else!”
pov/s said to pov/r. “I'm as certain of it, as if his name were written
all over his face.”

It might have been written a hundred times, easily, on that enormous
face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on
the top of a high wall---such a narrow one that pov/S quite wondered how
he could keep his balance---and, as his eyes were steadily fixed in the
opposite direction, and he didn't take the least notice of pov/o, pov/s
thought he must be a stuffed figure after all.

“And how exactly like an egg he is!” pov/s said aloud, standing with
pov/p hands ready to catch him, for pov/s vrb/be/ every moment expecting
him to fall.

“It's #emph[very] provoking,” Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence,
looking away from pov/O as he spoke, “to be called an
egg---#emph[Very!];”

“I said you #emph[looked] like an egg, Sir,” pov/S gently explained.
“And some eggs are very pretty, you know” pov/s added, hoping to turn
her remark into a sort of a compliment.

“Some people,” said Humpty Dumpty, looking away from pov/o as usual,
“have no more sense than a baby!”

Pov/S didn't know what to say to this: it wasn't at all like
conversation, pov/s thought, as he never said anything to #emph[pov/o];;
in fact, his last remark was evidently addressed to a tree---so pov/s
stood and softly repeated to pov/r:---

#include "poems/humpty-dumpty.typ"

“That last line is much too long for the poetry,” pov/s added, almost
out loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear pov/o.

“Don't stand there chattering to yourself like that,” Humpty Dumpty
said, looking at pov/o for the first time, “but tell me your name and
your business.”

“My #emph[name] is Y/n, but---”

“It's a stupid enough name!” Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently.
“What does it mean?”

“#emph[Must] a name mean something?” pov/S asked doubtfully.

“Of course it must,” Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: “#emph[my]
name means the shape I am---and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a
name like yours, you might be any shape, almost.”

“Why do you sit out here all alone?” alt/first and second or third/pov/S
said/said pov/S/, not wishing to begin an argument.

“Why, because there's nobody with me!” cried Humpty Dumpty. “Did you
think I didn't know the answer to #emph[that];? Ask another.”

“Don't you think you'd be safer down on the ground?” pov/S went on, not
with any idea of making another riddle, but simply in pov/p good-natured
anxiety for the queer creature. “That wall is so #emph[very] narrow!”

“What tremendously easy riddles you ask!” Humpty Dumpty growled out. “Of
course I don't think so! Why, if ever I #emph[did] fall off---which
there's no chance of---but #emph[if] I did---” Here he pursed his lips
and looked so solemn and grand that pov/S could hardly help laughing.
“#emph[If] I did fall,” he went on, “#emph[The King has promised
me---with his very own mouth];---to---to---”

“To send all his horses and all his men,” pov/S interrupted, rather
unwisely.

“Now I declare that's too bad!” Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking into a
sudden passion. “You've been listening at doors---and behind trees---and
down chimneys---or you couldn't have known it!”

“I haven't, indeed!” pov/S said very gently. “It's in a book.”

“Ah, well! They may write such things in a #emph[book];,” Humpty Dumpty
said in a calmer tone. “That's what you call a History of England, that
is. Now, take a good look at me! I'm one that has spoken to a King,
#emph[I] am: mayhap you'll never see such another: and to show you I'm
not proud, you may shake hands with me!” And he grinned almost from ear
to ear, as he leant forwards (and as nearly as possible fell off the
wall in doing so) and offered pov/O his hand. Pov/s watched him a little
anxiously as pov/s took it. “If he smiled much more, the ends of his
mouth might meet behind,” pov/s thought: “and then I don't know what
would happen to his head! I'm afraid it would come off!”

“Yes, all his horses and all his men,” Humpty Dumpty went on. “They'd
pick me up again in a minute, #emph[they] would! However, this
conversation is going on a little too fast: let's go back to the last
remark but one.”

“I'm afraid I can't quite remember it,” pov/S said very politely.

“In that case we start fresh,” said Humpty Dumpty, “and it's my turn to
choose a subject---” (“He talks about it just as if it was a game!”
alt/first and second or third/pov/S thought/thought pov/S/.) “So here's
a question for you. How old did you say you were?”

Pov/S made a short calculation, and said “Seven years and six months.”

“Wrong!” Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. “You never said a word
like it!”

“I though you meant ‘How old #emph[are] you?'” pov/S explained.

“If I'd meant that, I'd have said it,” said Humpty Dumpty.

Pov/S didn't want to begin another argument, so pov/s said nothing.

“Seven years and six months!” Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. “An
uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked #emph[my] advice, I'd have
said ‘Leave off at seven'---but it's too late now.”

“I never ask advice about growing,” pov/S said indignantly.

“Too proud?” the other inquired.

Pov/S felt even more indignant at this suggestion. “I mean,” pov/s said,
“that one can't help growing older.”

“#emph[One] can't, perhaps,” said Humpty Dumpty, “but #emph[two] can.
With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven.”

“What a beautiful belt you've got on!” pov/S suddenly remarked.

(They had had quite enough of the subject of age, pov/s thought: and if
they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was pov/p turn
now.) “At least,” she corrected pov/r on second thoughts, “a beautiful
cravat, I should have said---no, a belt, I mean---I beg your pardon!”
pov/s added in dismay, for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended, and
pov/s began to wish pov/s hadn't chosen that subject. “If I only knew,”
pov/s thought to pov/r, “which was neck and which was waist!”

Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing for a
minute or two. When he #emph[did] speak again, it was in a deep growl.

“It is a---#emph[most---provoking];---thing,” he said at last, “when a
person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!”

“I know it's very ignorant of me,” pov/S said, in so humble a tone that
Humpty Dumpty relented.

“It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It's a present
from the White King and Queen. There now!”

“Is it really?” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said pov/S/,
quite pleased to find that pov/s #emph[had] chosen a good subject, after
all.

“They gave it me,” Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he crossed
one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, “they gave it
me---for an un-birthday present.”

“I beg your pardon?” pov/S said with a puzzled air.

“I'm not offended,” said Humpty Dumpty.

“I mean, what #emph[is] an un-birthday present?”

“A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course.”

Pov/S considered a little. “I like birthday presents best,” pov/s said
at last.

“You don't know what you're talking about!” cried Humpty Dumpty. “How
many days are there in a year?”

“Three hundred and sixty-five,” said pov/S.

“And how many birthdays have you?”

“One.”

“And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five, what remains?”

“Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.”

Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. “I'd rather see that done on paper,” he
said.

Pov/S couldn't help smiling as pov/s took out pov/p memorandum-book, and
worked the sum for him:

#include "poems/365-minus-1.typ"

Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked at it carefully. “That seems to
be done right---” he began.

“You're holding it upside down!” pov/S interrupted.

“To be sure I was!” Humpty Dumpty said gaily, as pov/s turned it round
for him. “I thought it looked a little queer. As I was saying, that
#emph[seems] to be done right---though I haven't time to look it over
thoroughly just now---and that shows that there are three hundred and
sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents---”

“Certainly,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said pov/S/.

“And only #emph[one] for birthday presents, you know. There's glory for
you!”

“I don't know what you mean by ‘glory,'” pov/S said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don't---till I tell
you. I meant ‘there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'”

“But ‘glory' doesn't mean ‘a nice knock-down argument,'” pov/S objected.

“When #emph[I] use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful
tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean---neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said pov/S/,
“whether you #emph[can] make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master---that's
all.”

Pov/S was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty
Dumpty began again. “They've a temper, some of them---particularly
verbs, they're the proudest---adjectives you can do anything with, but
not verbs---however, #emph[I] can manage the whole lot of them!
Impenetrability! That's what #emph[I] say!”

“Would you tell me, please,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S
said/said pov/S/ “what that means?”

“Now you talk like a reasonable child,” said Humpty Dumpty, looking very
much pleased. “I meant by ‘impenetrability' that we've had enough of
that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you
mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest
of your life.”

“That's a great deal to make one word mean,” pov/S said in a thoughtful
tone.

“When I make a word do a lot of work like that,” said Humpty Dumpty, “I
always pay it extra.”

“Oh!” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said pov/S/. Pov/s
vrb/be/ too much puzzled to make any other remark.

“Ah, you should see 'em come round me of a Saturday night,” Humpty
Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side: “for to get
their wages, you know.”

(Pov/S didn't venture to ask what he paid them with; and so you see I
can't tell #emph[you];.)

“You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir,” alt/first and second or
third/pov/S said/said pov/S/. “Would you kindly tell me the meaning of
the poem called ‘Jabberwocky'?”

“Let's hear it,” said Humpty Dumpty. “I can explain all the poems that
were ever invented---and a good many that haven't been invented just
yet.”

This sounded very hopeful, so pov/S repeated the first verse:

#include "poems/jabberwocky-explained.typ"

“That's enough to begin with,” Humpty Dumpty interrupted: “there are
plenty of hard words there. ‘#emph[Brillig];' means four o'clock in the
afternoon---the time when you begin #emph[broiling] things for dinner.”

“That'll do very well,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said
pov/S/: “and ‘#emph[slithy];'?”

“Well, ‘#emph[slithy];' means ‘lithe and slimy.' ‘Lithe' is the same as
‘active.' You see it's like a portmanteau---there are two meanings
packed up into one word.”

“I see it now,” pov/S remarked thoughtfully: “and what are
‘#emph[toves];'?”

“Well, ‘#emph[toves];' are something like badgers---they're something
like lizards---and they're something like corkscrews.”

“They must be very curious looking creatures.”

“They are that,” said Humpty Dumpty: “also they make their nests under
sun-dials---also they live on cheese.”

“And what's the ‘#emph[gyre];' and to ‘#emph[gimble];'?”

“To ‘#emph[gyre];' is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To
‘#emph[gimble];' is to make holes like a gimlet.”

“And ‘#emph[the wabe];' is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?”
alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said pov/S/, surprised at pov/p
own ingenuity.

“Of course it is. It's called ‘#emph[wabe];,' you know, because it goes
a long way before it, and a long way behind it---”

“And a long way beyond it on each side,” pov/S added.

“Exactly so. Well, then, ‘#emph[mimsy];' is ‘flimsy and miserable'
(there's another portmanteau for you). And a ‘#emph[borogove];' is a
thin shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all
round---something like a live mop.”

“And then ‘#emph[mome raths];'?” alt/first and second or third/pov/S
said/said pov/S/. “I'm afraid I'm giving you a great deal of trouble.”

“Well, a ‘#emph[rath];' is a sort of green pig: but ‘#emph[mome];' I'm
not certain about. I think it's short for ‘from home'---meaning that
they'd lost their way, you know.”

“And what does ‘#emph[outgrabe];' mean?”

“Well, ‘#emph[outgrabing];' is something between bellowing and
whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle: however, you'll hear it
done, maybe---down in the wood yonder---and when you've once heard it
you'll be #emph[quite] content. Who's been repeating all that hard stuff
to you?”

“I read it in a book,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said
pov/S/. “But I had some poetry repeated to me, much easier than that,
by---Tweedledee, I think it was.”

“As to poetry, you know,” said Humpty Dumpty, stretching out one of his
great hands, “#emph[I] can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it
comes to that---”

“Oh, it needn't come to that!” pov/S hastily said, hoping to keep him
from beginning.

“The piece I'm going to repeat,” he went on without noticing her remark,
“was written entirely for your amusement.”

Pov/S felt that in that case pov/s really #emph[ought] to listen to it,
so pov/s sat down, and said “Thank you” rather sadly.

#include "poems/for-your-amusement-part-1.typ"

only I don't sing it,” he added, as an explanation.

“I see you don't,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said pov/S/.

“If you can #emph[see] whether I'm singing or not, you've sharper eyes
than most.” Humpty Dumpty remarked severely. pov/S vrB/be/ silent.

#include "poems/for-your-amusement-part-2.typ"

“Thank you very much,” alt/first and second or third/pov/S said/said
pov/S/.

#include "poems/for-your-amusement-part-3.typ"

“I will, if I can remember it so long,” alt/first and second or
third/pov/S said/said pov/S/.

“You needn't go on making remarks like that,” Humpty Dumpty said:
“they're not sensible, and they put me out.”

#include "poems/for-your-amusement-part-4.typ"

“I'm afraid I don't quite understand,” alt/first and second or
third/pov/S said/said pov/S/.

“It gets easier further on,” Humpty Dumpty replied.

#include "poems/for-your-amusement-part-5.typ"

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream as he repeated this
verse, and pov/S thought with a shudder, “I wouldn't have been the
messenger for #emph[anything];!”

#include "poems/for-your-amusement-part-6.typ"

There was a long pause.

“Is that all?” pov/S timidly asked.

“That's all,” said Humpty Dumpty. “Good-bye.”

This was rather sudden, pov/S thought: but, after such a #emph[very]
strong hint that pov/s ought to be going, pov/s felt that it would
hardly be civil to stay. So pov/s got up, and held out pov/p hand.
“Good-bye, till we meet again!” pov/s said as cheerfully as pov/s could.

“I shouldn't know you again if we #emph[did] meet,” Humpty Dumpty
replied in a discontented tone, giving pov/o one of his fingers to
shake; “you're so exactly like other people.”

“The face is what one goes by, generally,” pov/S remarked in a
thoughtful tone.

“That's just what I complain of,” said Humpty Dumpty. “Your face is the
same as everybody has---the two eyes, so---” (marking their places in
the air with this thumb) “nose in the middle, mouth under. It's always
the same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for
instance---or the mouth at the top---that would be #emph[some] help.”

“It wouldn't look nice,” pov/S objected. But Humpty Dumpty only shut his
eyes and said “Wait till you've tried.”

Pov/S waited a minute to see if he would speak again, but as he never
opened his eyes or took any further notice of pov/o, pov/s said
“Good-bye!” once more, and, getting no answer to this, pov/s quietly
walked away: but pov/s couldn't help saying to pov/r as pov/s went, “Of
all the unsatisfactory---” (pov/s repeated this aloud, as it was a great
comfort to have such a long word to say) “of all the unsatisfactory
people I #emph[ever] met---” Pov/s never finished the sentence, for at
this moment a heavy crash shook the forest from end to end.